Over the past few months, we’ve been exploring some pretty big topics— love, life, and purpose. And how these all come together. If you missed any of those posts, please catch up using the links above.
Dealing With Feelings
By Loving Yourself
Do you sometimes feel weighed down by negative emotions, as particular thoughts bear down on you like a ton of bricks? Well, to start with, know this: you are not alone.[1]
Let’s spend a little time together and try to understand why we experience these emotional lows.
Before we start, please know I am not a medical or legal professional, just an ordinary individual like you—a person who has experienced negative emotions and struggled to find solutions. Have I found solutions to my issues? Yes, I have, but more than this, I have discovered that solutions don’t (in my case) come about overnight. I also learned that solutions sometimes come about in instalments, calling for my patience and more than this, belief that my situation will improve. Self-improvement is a lifelong experience.
Let me tell you about a guy named Ezekiel—everyone called him Ziggy. Smart, good-looking, top of his class, and a sports star. Despite all that, he was humble. After finishing law school, he took off to travel, no real plan, just vibes. He partied, chased women, worked only when he had to, and eventually got sucked into the casino scene.
Debt piled up fast. Ziggy started skipping town to dodge it, drinking more to cope with the stress and insomnia. One morning, hungover and broke, he dragged himself into a bar.
“Your tab’s full, Ziggy,” the bartender said. “Boss says no more till you pay.”
“Can I just get a glass of water?” Ziggy asked. The bartender slid it over, muttering, “After this, you’re out.”
A woman at a nearby table called out, “Come sit with me—I’ll buy you a drink.”
She wasn’t flashy, but looked clean and sharp. Not your typical bar
regular.
“Are you an alcoholic?” she asked bluntly.
Ziggy blinked. “No. Just a washed-up lawyer, drowning in debt and booze. Name’s Ziggy.”
“Anna. I’m a lawyer too.”
“Not anymore, I’m not.”
“Disbarred?”
“Not yet. Just in deep.”
“As a criminal lawyer, you’ve got two options,” she said. “Face the mess and deal with it, or let it bury you.”
“Thanks, counsellor. Never would’ve guessed.”
“Lose the sarcasm, Ziggy. It’s not helping.”
“Sorry. And… thanks. I know you’re trying.”
Ziggy stepped out of the bar an hour later, sunlight stinging his eyes. He checked the scrap of napkin Anna had left behind—just a name, “A. Reyes,” and the address of a law office downtown.
He wasn’t sure why, but two days later, he showed up.
The office was modest. Clean, but no marble floors or city views. Just a brass plaque, a humming printer, and a receptionist who barely looked up when he walked in.
“Anna Reyes,” Ziggy said.
The receptionist pointed down the hall.
Anna sat at her desk, sleeves rolled up, phone to her ear, scowling at a thick file. She hung up and gave him a look. She was not surprised, but she was not warm either.
“You came.”
“I had nothing better to do.”
“Still so charming, eh?”
Ziggy dropped into the chair across from her. “So, what is this place?”
“Small firm. Big problems. Mostly criminal defence, some civil rights, and pro bono work when we can afford it. We fight for people nobody else wants to touch.”
Ziggy raised an eyebrow. “Sounds noble.”
“It’s messy. And it pays like crap. But it matters.”
She tossed a folder at him. “Read that. Tell me what’s wrong with the search warrant.”
He opened it, glanced through the documents, then slowed down. Old instincts kicked in.
“The warrant’s too broad. They basically searched the guy’s whole life on a phone call about weed. Judge should’ve tossed it.”
Anna nodded. “Thought so. You’re rusty, but not broken.”
Ziggy handed the file back. “So what do you want me to do?”
“Start showing up. Every morning at eight. I’ll pay you enough to keep the lights on. No gambling. No disappearing.”
He hesitated. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch. Just don’t screw it up. I don’t like wasting time on people who aren’t serious.”
Ziggy smirked. “Then we’re both gambling.”
Anna’s mouth twitched. Almost a smile.
Weeks passed. Ziggy kept showing up. Coffee in hand, shirt mostly ironed, mind sharper by the day. He argued motions, rewrote briefs, even started winning small cases.
One afternoon, after a solid courtroom win, he walked out grinning for the first time in ages. Anna was waiting by the courthouse steps.
“You were good in there,” she said.
“I was, wasn’t I?”
“Cocky again. Must be healing.”
He nodded. “Feels like coming back from the dead.”
“Don’t get too comfortable. Big case coming. High stakes. And I want you on it.”
He looked at her. “What made you believe in me?”
“I didn’t,” she said. “I just gave you the space to believe in and love yourself.”
They stood there a second too long.
Then Ziggy nodded. “Alright, counsellor. Let’s take it on.”
I will stop my story here and consider what we’ve learned so far:
Ziggy had it all, so at face value, there was no reason for him to fall into the dark pit. I doubt any of you reading this have fallen into Ziggy’s mess, but who knows…
The details of this story are not essential; what matters to you and me are the principals involved. Let’s look at a few of these:
Ziggy did not have any genuine love for anyone, not even himself.
Ziggy’s life was centred on self, satisfying physical desires, and mental stimulation.
Ziggy did not appear to have any purpose in his life.
It is essential to love myself/ and others. How can I love someone else when I don’t love myself?
Meeting Anna was a fork in the road for Ziggy, and he chose the fork that would change his life. He started to respect his abilities and accomplishments, leading him to love himself. The story continues, but we don’t know if he fell in love with Anna.
Now, Ziggy had a purpose in his life.
Yet, despite all the above beneficial aspects in Ziggy’s life, we know nothing about how he set about extricating himself from his debt, the primary cause of his fear and anxiety. We could guess that two sharp legal minds working together solved this issue.
Finally, we must not lose sight of the fact that Ziggy’s changes would have taken time, and he would have needed determination to overcome his problems and the will not to give up.
What this amounts to is that if you allow negative thoughts to take residence in your mind, negative emotions will result, and these will weigh you down. There are lists of actions you can take to avoid negative thought control. I will leave these for you to find because self-discovery has more lasting value than my advice on these pages.
But, as a parting gesture, let me share this statement from Simplifying Therapy:
“Society often teaches us to label emotions as positive or negative. Joy, love, and happiness are celebrated, while anger, sadness, and fear may be stigmatized or suppressed. This labeling and judgment of emotions can have detrimental effects on our mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to emotional suppression, inner conflict, and a lack of self-compassion.”[2]
Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And if this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need to read it.
Until next month
Peter-James Pienaar
I want to reassure you that I never store or use your details. I do not bombard my readers with post distribution. If I post eight a month, that would be a lot. At the moment, I post four.
This site can be reached with any of the following: https://lovelightpurpose and https://sirpeterjamesdotcom.com.
Love Your Life Adopt Your Purpose 
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