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I will continue sharing on the theme ‘Our Minds Are Goldmines. This essay is about love and how we use our minds in dealing with the way we love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Love is patient and kind,
never jealous, boastful,
proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth,
but not in evil.
Love is always supportive,
loyal, hopeful,
and trusting.
The Mystery of Love
These verses are from ancient scriptures and are beautiful when reading or listening to them. This piece is profound in its wisdom and yet reads like a poem. While we might all agree that these words are extreme wisdom, what’s the point? Can we apply them to our lives? Doubtlessly, we would again agree that although we may accept these words and desire to see them come about, we don’t use them too well in our daily lives. ‘Why is this?’ you might ask.
The answer is that we cannot make these words a reality in our lives because we probably do not understand the meaning of true love. Secondly, we do not know how to apply those words in our life. I have never met another human who confessed these words, having been accomplished in their lives. Have you?
The Meaning Of Love
So, how do we use this wisdom in our life?
Let’s begin with a decision to understand the meaning of the word ‘love.’
Through experience, I discovered I had misunderstood the word ‘love’ in my past years. In reconsideration, as I understand it today, the love I experienced was sensual and passionate. My lifestyle did not allow me to think otherwise.
For many years, I have witnessed many failures in life, particularly in relationships—all of them: marital, family, friends, and business. This continued until one day, I picked up a little book left lying on a table. The book was titled “As a Man Thinketh.” It was written by James Allen, who was known as ‘A New Thought Author.’ In this book, he made a profound statement:
“As you think, you travel, and as you love, you attract. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You cannot escape the result of your thoughts, but you can endure and learn, can accept and be glad.”
Coupled with another book, “The Power of Now.” By Eckhart Tolle. I began to understand the power of the way I think.
So, where am I going with this?
The Power of Using My Gold Mind
How I think about love is how I will be able to apply the above wise words in my life. The way I think about love is the way I will be able to apply true love in my life.
This is what I learned about love:
The love I had was sensual or passionate in my marital life. In modern-day terminology, this love is called ‘being in love’ or ‘I am in love with you.’ This type of love is not, as I know it, a lasting love. It is a love controlled by passion. As long as the passion lasts, this love lasts.
You might have read the book The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. In this best-selling book, Dr. Peck says the following about this kind of love:
‘Peck emphasizes that “falling in love”—that initial infatuation—is not true love; it’s temporary and fleeting.’
In his chapter on love, Dr. Peck says that being in love has a time limit. He likens it to the ‘honeymoon’ after the marriage ceremony—it does not last.
The ancient scripture below characterizes this type of love:

Kiss me tenderly!
Your love is better than wine,
and you smell so sweet.
All the young women adore you;
the very mention of your name
is like spreading perfume.
Hurry, my king! Let’s hurry.
Take me to your home.
By comparison, Dr. Peck defines true love as “the will to extend oneself to nurture one’s own or another’s inner spiritual growth. Love encompasses both self-love and love for others. It’s an intentional act, requiring effort and choice.”[2]
After many years of experience, I concluded that Love is a decision, not a feeling. I have lived by this philosophy for the last ten years—and it works!
I decide to love irrespective of another’s behaviour or feelings toward me. I love unconditionally; I forgive unconditionally. How do I manage to live like this?
Because I now understand what love is, I have made it my purpose to apply this love in my life. Irrespective of how many times I fail along the road of my efforts, I will pick myself up and start again.
I often wonder if the fact that those of us who are married expect our first moments of ‘being in love’ to carry us through the vicissitudes of our married life until death do us part. Or do we give up trying?
I’ve made my choice – live it and never give up!
[2] The Road less Travelled Page 108.
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Until next time
Blessings
Peter-James Pienaar


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